6 months

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Bashie!

Happy half birthday, you sweet little creature.

You continue to love attention, and our trip to Brisbane gave you plenty. You’re easy to make smile, and your smiles are HUGE and light up your whole face. You also do this thing that we have dubbed “fly-catcher”, where you just stare around with your mouth hanging open all.of.the.time. You love to just watch what’s going on; unfortunately back here at home, there’s not much to watch.

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You’ve reached that age where you are frustrated by your limitations – you want to move, and you are fussy most of the day because I’m unable to hold you in a standing position all day long. I think if you were a first baby, and I had the ability to just give you my undivided attention, you would be the happiest baby in the world.

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This month, you’ve perfected sitting and you can safely (and purposefully) get yourself from sitting onto your stomach. Once you’re on your stomach, you can do a full circle without even thinking about it, and you can sort of scoot backward, although this seems accidental at this point; I think you’ll crawl this coming month, but I could be wrong.

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You continue to begrudgingly breastfeed, but you’ve also started playing with solids; we got you a high chair which makes things easier. Your favorite food is definitely strawberries; you watched me pull them from the fridge this morning, and never took your eyes off of them; you’ve also enjoyed green beans, bread, and tortillas. You continue to have all of the symptoms of teething without any sign of teeth, I have no idea when they’ll decide to pop out since your brother already had like 10 teeth by now haha.

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You do this thing when you’re playing, where you yell at your ‘prey’ and then you launch at it, mouth opened, and sort of attack it – super cute. You’ve also started to enjoy hitting your toys against any surface you can find. You like to babble and joy shriek, usually at inopportune times. You continue to be obessed with your brother, and I think the feeling is mutual; Archer says “I wuv my baby bashie” multiple times a day, although sometimes it’s followed by very rough physical displays of that love, so what I take to be obsession, may in fact be fear.

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You HATE the car. It’s probably the only thing you really dislike. If you are not fully fed, dry (nappy), and sleepy, you just SCREAM. If I can somehow meet all of those conditions, you fall right to sleep, but god help us if you don’t.

While we were in Brisbane, you were able to show everyone what I mean when I say you don’t like to nap. We rock you to sleep (more like fight you to sleep, you scream and kick and fight (SO strong!) then finally give in and go to sleep), and minutes, sometimes seconds, after putting you down, you are awake again, babbling away. You might wonder why I don’t just sit and hold you while you sleep, well sometimes I do, but I can’t always do that, so it’s really frustrating when you just won’t sleep off of me. After the fourth time of rocking you and then having you wake up before we’d even left the room, I heard your Nanny say “you are the worst napper ever, Sebastian!” haha. To be fair, as soon as the sun goes down, you’re pretty much out; I still have to put you to sleep, but then you don’t really wake up, and when you do it’s just for a feed and then you’re straight back to sleep.

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Overall, sir, you are a very happy baby whose only grievances are naps, cars, and freedom of movement; I think once you can crawl you will be perfectly content, and probably a bit chaotic!

We love you Sebastian.

Love Mummy

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Three!

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Archer Beck,

You are three! Mostly I feel like it’s amazing that you’ve ONLY been with us 3 years; I just can’t imagine life without you.

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I don’t want the entire post to be negative, so I’m going to get the “challenges” out of the way now. Things feel like they’ve settled a bit since you were possessed by satan, but I sometimes wonder if it’s just that I’ve gotten used to it. There are still daily fights about anything from what to eat, to what to play, and when to sleep. You have BIG feelings that just EXPLODE, and it can be violent and extremely intense. It’s also utterly exhausting; some days I feel like we’ve just fought all day, and I wonder when things will become pleasant again. You rarely respond to the “nice” mother that I’ve tried and wanted to be, and I turn into this angry, yelling mother that I never wished to become. Sometimes (a lot of the time) I resent you for that; WHY won’t you just listen to nice mum? why must you make me into this person I don’t want to be!? I’m pretty sure that this is just the normal feelings for this age, but I’m tired, and hoping it gets easier soon.

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Now that I’ve told you all of the reasons why I will embarrass and annoy you when you are a teenager (paybaaaaack!), I can move on to the normal, expected gushing about all of the magic that is Archer Beck…

You are really hilarious these days – the way that you talk has just totally transformed from toddler babble into real, big kid talking. The other day I heard you whispering to Bash “mummy is a butt” and then laughing hysterically. You laugh more at movies, and you tell jokes; I’m not sure how better to describe this transformation, but it’s really clear that you’re thinking differently.

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You see words written and you tell us “this says blah blah blah”. You don’t say ‘she’, you say ‘her’; “her is coming to play with me”. When you don’t know the answer to something, you say “I can’t tell you”. When we ask you a question, like “what did you do today” you respond with “you tell me? I not know”.

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You have all of these faces that I try, but fail to capture in pictures. Your ‘manipulator’ face; when you want something, you turn your head to the side, open your eyes really wide, and sort of nod your head; “I have a jelly bean? please please?”. Your ‘cheeky’ face; when you’re trying to be charming to get out of trouble, you give your fake smile and squish your eyes mostly closed and turn your head side to side; “I sorry mummy, I p’omise I nevah evah do it again”. You also have a shy face, stone still; excited face, huge eyes & mouth and lots of screaming; sad face, tragic face droop; and angry face, scrunched up, teeth barred, hissing.

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You like to keep busy; the days we stay home are the worst ones as far as your (and my) behaviour. So we do swimming lessons, childcare two days a week, and gymnastics, and we go for walks a few times a week. Woollies is a 5 minute walk, so we go down there, pick up some breakfast and then take another 5 minute walk past the “kananoos” to a table at the edge of a construction site – DIGGERS! You ride your bike, and you have gotten SO fast on it! You run, then lift up your feet and glide. When you glide down hills, I get so scared as you pick up speed, but so far you’ve just calmly stopped yourself.

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In one term of swimming lessons you’ve gone from refusing to put your head under the water to jumping off of the edge before we’re even ready to catch you – you’re actually overconfident now. You love swimming now, and I think you’ll be able to swim by the end of the year, if not the end of next term.

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School is a bit of a mixed bag, I think that you have a great time, and I think it’s good for you, but when I drop you off in the morning I always feel a bit anxious. You’re completely silent during drop off and you hang around my legs, and then when I say goodbye you just stay standing wherever I’ve left you. I ask your teachers if you have fun and warm up, and they say yes, but I wish I could see that. You were moved up to the junior kindergarten room, so you’re actually the youngest in the room, and you sometimes say that the bigger boys are mean to you. So yeah, there’s a lot of guilt surrounding you going to school, but I also really don’t want you to start real school and be the only one who’s never been away from his mummy. AHHHH! conflicted!

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Gymnastics has been fun. You’re growing more confident and you now like to jump off of things; you refused to jump at all the first week. It’s really nice to have a special thing that we do together.

All of those things keep you busy in the mornings, then you have a nap and usually our afternoons are a bit smoother and you’re a bit happier (less aggressive and demonic).

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You’re still waking up in the night and coming into our bed. I wouldn’t mind so much except that some days you come in and demand the iPad even though it’s 3am, then you scream when we say no, which wakes up Bash, and then you go to sleep and I’m left getting Bash back to sleep. The iPad isn’t all bad though, when Bash lets me, we give it to you when Dad gets up for work and you watch it while I get a bit more sleep.

You still love videos of people playing with toys, which is weird, but we try and steer you towards nature documentaries or shows that aren’t complete rubbish – rarely works.

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You’re totally potty trained! I’m not even sure how it happened, it just kind of did. You’re pretty awesome at it, and only have accidents on purpose (as in, you do it out of spite or amusement). Along those lines (sorry if your future girl/boyfriend is reading this), you’re OBSESSED with your penis. It’s definitely your favorite thing, and we’ve had to have multiple chats about what is appropriate with “private areas” haha.

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You can sing the alphabet (but sometimes get ‘s’ confused with ‘f’ and get caught in a loop), as well as tons of other songs, I frequently hear you singing to yourself. You can count to 10 (but you always skip 5). You know every sort of digger truck and like to point out the “idolics” (hydraulics) and stabilizers.

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You’re incredibly sweet sometimes, and ask for snuggles, and you LOVE your brother. Sometimes you can be a bit rough, but it’s usually that you’re just trying to play with him and you try to move him or pick him up. You’re always saying “I love cootee Bashie” “Bashie is soooooo coot” “I love my brother” “Bashie is my best friend”.

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Archer you have a HUGE personality. You are passionate, courageous, imaginative, creative, funny, and loud. While these traits might test me daily, they also entertain me now and make me so excited to see you in action as you grow up.

We love you, crazy boy!

Love Mummy (Daddy & Bash too)

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5 months

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Sebastian, you sweet thing…

You are simply delightful. Another month with you has passed, and you’re fitting into our family perfectly.

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You’re always quick to smile, and you love to babble away. Although, you also go from happy to inconsolable pretty quickly – usually when you’re tired. You can be a bit harder to put to sleep these days, but it’s usually when you’re overtired and you just need to be worn for a minute and you’re out like a light. Your naps are still pretty short, but occasionally you surprise us with a long one – usually when we need to be going somewhere. You’ve stopped sleeping at night, right on cue; Archer stopped sleeping at this age too, but I’m hoping yours doesn’t last as long as his. You cry out every hour or 2, just enough to wake me, and I feed you or put your dummy in and you go right back to sleep.

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I keep thinking the disruption is teeth; the addition of a drool waterfall and chewing anything you get your hands on supports this theory, but a tooth is yet to be felt or spotted, they must be moving around?

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You’re still pretty uninterested in food. Well actually, you love to watch us eat; you watch the food travel to our mouths, and you even reach for it sometimes. These signals have led me to try you on a food a few times; rice cereal, avocado, rusks; but everytime you just pull a face and spit it out. I was in such a rush to start Archer on solids, but with you I know how much easier it is not to have to come up with food ideas for children, so go ahead and avoid solids as long as you want, kiddo.

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Speaking of boobs – you still really couldn’t care less about them. If you were super into solids I would theorise that you would be an early weaner, but since you aren’t, I’m not too sure what will happen, we’ll just have to wait and see.

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You’ve finally grown out of all of your 0-3month clothes, but only in length really, and I am still squeezing you into your newborn wondersuit haha. The size that actually fits you would probably be a 3-6month, but there are a few 6-9month things that I put you in even though they’re big, and I squeeze you into some 0-3’s. All in all, you’re definitely getting way more wear out of your clothes than Archer did – he FLEW through sizes – I appreciate it, babycakes, because some of these clothes are super cute (plus, money savings). You’re also still in infant nappies, hahaha.

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You get more interactive every day, which is fun. You smile as soon as anyone looks at you, and you like to coo and giggle, and sometimes even shriek. You can now roll over without hesitation, although (just like Archer) you are really only interested in rolling back to front, and then you just scream instead of rolling back onto your back. Once you’re on your tummy, you can do a full 360 turn, quickly, and you can also schooch yourself a fair way. If you had the time a patience, I’m sure you could get across a whole room. You’ve also started sitting! It’s still that really unstable sit, but you’re getting better every day.

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There’s really not much that you don’t like, you just get unhappy if you’re tired, and you aren’t a fan of lying on your back (you scream or immediately roll over).

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You’re a sweet, happy little munchkin, Bashie. We love having you to smile and coo with. Part of me wishes you would stay this small, sweet, and squishy forever, and then the other part can’t wait to watch you grow up, hear you learn to talk, and see you chase after your brother.

We love you Sebastian Beck.

Love Mummy (Daddy & Archer too).

Archerisms

Dad: Is mum a nice lady?

Archer: Yeah!

D: is dad a nice lady?

A: no!

D: how come?

A: because.

D: because why?

A: daddy is not a princess!

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Mum: (to bash) are you my baby?

Archer: (whispers) nope

M: who’s mummy’s baby then? is it you?

A:nope

M: is it Bash?

A: nope

M: who is it?

A: ummmmm it’s daddy!

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Archer: when Bashy growd up, I want to live in a tree with him. Like a birdie.

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(bash snoring)

Archer: is that his angry face?

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Daddy: where do babies come from?

Archer: um, the tummy!

D: yeah, how do they get in there though?

A: a doctor puts them in. the doctor push it out. you use your back to push it out (holds back, sticks out tummy and pushes haha)

4 months

I had every intention of doing this yesterday, and then I forgot. Celia reminded me when she texted asking where the 4month update was – whoops! So I’ve frantically taken pictures, and written this, and it’s technically not late!

  Sweet, sweet Sebastian,

I fall in love with you more and more each day. Time is still moving slowly, and you’re still mostly my tiny, snuggly boy, but this month you have also grown a lot and have started to become a more playful, interactive baby.

 you’re still little when it comes to sleep. You still need to nap after about an hour awake, but they’re usually very short little catnaps. At the start of the month, you would only sleep on me. I had to hold you tight to my chest while you screamed and stiffened your body, and you would fall asleep after about a minute. If I put you down, you would wake up within one minute – no fail. You still sometimes sleep like this, but you’ve also started to put yourself to sleep if I give you a blanket to put over your face, and a dummy – your brother did this too. You’re a metal head too, Belakor (or something) puts you straight to sleep! Fortunately, you are a GREAT night sleeper! You usually sleep from your final feed around 10pm until 6am, and if you do wake, it’s only once and you go straight back to sleep after a boob.

Eating is going pretty well; I’ve had one cracked nipple and it was at the start of the month (right after saying how it was all better on your last update haha). Boobs seem to simply be nutritional to you; you eat as fast as possible and never ever fall asleep on the boob. You really don’t seem to use them for comfort or amusement (your brother did), and it makes me wonder what will happen as you grow.

You don’t seem to really have an interest in solids either though. I tried mashed avo one night with you – you couldn’t have cared less. The only thing you seem to really have loved was a piece of plum I let you gnaw on one night – you SCREAMED when I took it away haha. besides that, there’s no reaching for food, or interest when we hold it up for you – so we’ll hold off for now.

 

  You LOVE your feet – you play with them all day, and night. You suck on them, hold them, and kick them. You also seem to like water; we’ve started swimming lessons and you’re completely chilled out as soon as we hit the water – same thing happens in the bath. You also love standing, and would happily stand all day long if my arms could last that long. Standing you up is an instant fix whenever you are crying – can’t wait for you to be able to stand on your own! (But not really, don’t grow up too fast!)

You are extremely social; you just want to be talked to or looked at all day long. The only time you’re really unhappy is if you’re being ignored (or you’re overtired). You have started talking and laughing this month; they’re such wonderful milestones because we can interact so much more now. Archer loves it when you talk and laugh; he’s always trying to get you to laugh by pulling funny faces, and doing other, more rough things, like sitting on you or “tickling” you haha.

You worship Archer. You look for him all the time, smile when you see him, and follow his voice around rooms. He’s pretty obsessed with you too, and I can’t wait to see your relationship grow! You two can be a bit rough with each other, but there’s no limit to the love, and most of the injuries are a result of over-loving (crushing hugs, etc haha)

I’m not too sure what’s happening with your eye color. I thought for sure they would lighten to Archer’s brilliant blue color, but they actually seem to be darkening now. They’re this sort of grey, sometimes blueish color at the moment, but I’m not sure what direction they’re going in.

I think it’s safe to say you dislike the car; you probably scream for 70% of all car rides. I think this actually has more to do with the fact that you can’t see anyone than the actual car itself though. The only other thing you really seem to dislike is laying down – you usually scream when I lay you on your back.

   We had you weighed yesterday – you’re growing well! I was so amused looking at your measurements next to your brother’s; my suspicions were confirmed, you’re a lot smaller than he was! Archer had a weigh in at pretty much the exact same age.

Weight

Bash: 6.44kg  (25th%) *** Archer: 7.594 kg  (75th%)

Length

Bash: 63.5cm (50th%) ***Archer: 66cm (80th%)

Head Circumference

Bash: 41.7cm (50th%) *** Archer: 44.5cm (100th%)

I think that you’re still a lot smaller than Archer was at this age. You’re still wearing some newborn clothes, and some 0-3 month stuff. You’re starting to wear some 3-6 month stuff, but it’s a bit big; your brother was in 6-9month clothing by now. I love that you’re staying small for now though – it’s helping it to feel like it’s lasting a little bit longer.

  

You are a simply delightful little creature, Sebastian Beck. You are a happy little spark of light. You are pure sweetness and love, my little monkey man.

I am so so so lucky to be your mum. We love you endlessly, Sebastian.

Love, Mummy

3 months

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oh beautiful baby Bash,

I am so glad that the last 3 months have moved so slowly; I feel like I’ve had time to enjoy your sweet newborn phase. I have no idea why it’s gone slowly since we’ve been so busy, but it feels like you’ve been here for at least 6 months; I can’t believe it’s only half that long. I was so scared that you would grow up in the blink of an eye and I would feel like I had missed it, so I am extremely grateful for the unexpected slowing of time. I’m sure I will look back one day and remark on how fast it went, but at this moment in time, it feels as though I’ve been given enough time to soak up this stage.

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SONY DSCI don’t really have any babies to compare you to, but I think you’re on the smaller end – you’re still wearing some newborn clothes, but mostly you’re in 0-3month size, and starting to wear some 3-6month sized things, but they’re really baggy. Archer was always at least one size above his actual age, so the fact that your age and size align is taking some getting used to.

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It’s not for lack of eating though. You’re still entirely breastfed, and you can down both sides in like 10 minutes flat.The cracked nipple issue appears to have sorted itself out – thank god. You do sometimes try to chew your fingers while feeding, which is pretty cute, but definitely impossible. Daddy keeps letting you sample his food; so far I think you’ve only tasted watermelon, but who knows what Daddy feeds you when I’m not around.

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The last few weeks you’ve kind of “woken up” a bit; by that I mean that you’re more aware and a bit less easy going. You’re still pretty laid back, but you’ve needed to be held, by me, pretty much all day. I get you to sleep in my arms, then put you down, and you’re awake within 15 minutes without fail. I know it’s just a stage, and I don’t mind, it’s just a bit hard to get anything else done.

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To be fair though, you do sleep at night usually. Most nights I feed you around 10 or 11, then you either sleep right through until 6 or you wake once for a quick feed around 3. I usually feed you and get you back in your bed without even fully waking up, so most mornings I actually have no idea if we were up in the night or not haha.

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Your new awareness has resulted in cute new skills though. You’ve found your hands. You work REALLY hard to get your fingers into your mouth – SO much concentration – and then you maul them until they fall out and you panic because you can’t find them again. You like tummy time for short times. You love the bath but you don’t get one every day because I’m lazy haha; I’ve started laying you in an inch of water like I did with Archer, and you squeal and kick your limbs around – very cute. You love being talked to, and your whole little face lights up; we’re still waiting to get a laugh from you, but you smile frequently and easily. You can talk/squeak, but you don’t very often.

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Your very favourite ‘thing’ though, is your brother. When Archer is around, you just stare at him. Archer likes to smile at you so that you will smile back, and I always feel like I might explode when you two are smiling at each other. Archer always asks me to make you talk, and when you do (of your own free will) he get’s so excited; “ooooh! Bashie talk to me!”. He’s become more gentle, or maybe you’re just bigger and more resilient, but he definitely loves you as much as you love him; he hugged you last night and said “I love you Bashie, you’re my bestest boy”.

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I don’t know who you will become Bash – it’s one of the great joys of parenting, watching your ‘self’ emerge. I wonder what you will be obsessed with as a toddler, and even beyond that who you will love, what you will want to do, what you will stand up for. All of that is in there just waiting to come out and show us who you are, and I’m so looking forward to watching it unfold. For now, you’re a cuddly, sweet smelling, smiley, brother-admirer, who likes to chew on his fingers.

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We love you, Sebastian.

Love, Mummy

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Day in the life

Friday, 18 December 2015

 Archer 2 years, 9 months

Sebastian 9 weeks, 6 days

***

0130

After a difficult bedtime (2 1/2hours!) I had let Archer fall asleep in my bed. at 1:30, I heard that dreaded gurgle sound – vomit. It was small, but I still had to strip the bed and the boy, and put down towels. Since we were up, I fed Bash.

0230

another small puke. ugh. change the towels

0400

another puke. seriously!? hopefully that’s the last one. one more towel change.

0615

Archer asks for the iPad, seems totally normal. I give it to him and try to sneak in a bit more sleep…

0630

Bash isn’t having that. Get up and feed him

0700

I get Archer a snack, and while he’s contained with the iPad and snack, I get ready for the day.

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I get Bash changed. He’s always a smiley monkey in the morning

0745

Archer’s turn! He gets dressed and goes potty (he’s mostly potty trained now!)

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I chuck the gross sheets in the wash, and then load up the pram so we can head off on a walk.

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We take off! We see the diggers, the “kananoos”, and Archer rides his bike down some hills on the way.

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We arrive at the park and meet Lilith and Iris there. It’s a cute park, but it isn’t covered at all so it’s already super hot. I teach Archer how to “fly” on the swing, like I used to as a child!
  

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it’s SO hot, so we bail on the park to go have coffee at the local shop. Archer decides he doesn’t want to ride his bike, so I try to put the boys in together; it only lasts a minute, and then I have to carry Bash the rest of the way. At the shops, Archer has a milkshake and donut, and Bash sleeps on the table.
  

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We say bye to Lilith and Iris and run in to Woollies for a couple of things.

0905

We head home. Archer rides his bike halfway and then wants back in the pram. I swear we’ll never go for a walk again.

0920

We’re home. I get Archer a snack, and yes, the iPad. Bash is still asleep so I bring the pram inside and try to quickly clean up before he wakes up.

0925

He wakes up, but he’s happy, so I just keep doing the dishes.

0950

Bash is still happy, the dishes are done, and Archer’s finished his food, so it’s time for a nap! 

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Bash starts fussing, so I sit down to feed him.

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I’m halfway through the first boob and Archer comes out to tell me he has to pee – he’s wearing a nappy for sleep time, so I tell him he can just go. He plays while I finish feeding Bash.

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I take Archer back to bed, then I sit down to feed Bash the second side, but he won’t latch and I’m getting frustrated, so I get up and change his nappy.

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Archer’s up again; he’s pooped and wants me to change it – fair enough. I change his nappy and put him back to bed. He asks me to stay, and I really don’t feel like repeating this process for the next 2 hours (like the night before), so I just agree. I grab Bash and feed him while Archer falls asleep.
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He’s asleep! That was sooooooooo much easier. I also settle Bash to sleep, so I’m free to have a shower!
  

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I’m done and dressed. I move Bash to the living room so I can fold laundry and watch Netflix.

1105

A friend drops by with some Christmas cookies. While we’re chatting, Bash wakes up, so I pick him up and he goes back to sleep on my shoulder

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My friend leaves and I realise I haven’t eaten all day, so I put Bash down and make some food. Archer wakes up asking for a water bottle, so I get him one and put him back in bed – he falls asleep. Bash is awake and squirmy, so I eat really quickly before it turns into actual crying.

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He doesn’t! He just falls back to sleep. I finish the laundry, then enjoy the last little bit of my break.

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Archer’s awake. I make him some lunch, then I clean the house while he eats it. Yes, he has more iPad, gee this is really not making me look very good haha

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The house is tidy, Archer is finished, and Bash is still sleeping; I move us all in to the playroom to play with toys and take a screen break.

1320

I forgot to change Archer back into undies, so we go do that. Then I make myself a cup of tea

1330

Bash wakes for boob. Archer keeps playing while I feed him

1350

I change Bash’s nappy, then take him back to the play room for some tummy time. Archer goes in time out for head butting me

1400

Archer’s out of time out, and Bash is hating tummy time, so we head outside. We set up the pool and Archer digs in the sand with his diggers. Can’t wait to set up his new sand pit for Christmas!  

1430

Dad’s home!!!!! We chat about his night/day (he was on guard) while Archer plays, then he goes for a shower. Bash falls asleep again.  

1515

J takes Bash inside, and I help Archer clean up; it’s just too hot outside!

1520

I swap with J. He goes and gets Archer, then dries and dresses him; and I put Bash into his bed.

1523

Bash wakes up – ahhh! I set up Bob the Builder for Archer (ugh, more TV – judge away), then sit down to feed Bash. J has fallen asleep in Archer’s bed.  

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Bash has finally fallen asleep. I dare not move, so I rewrite this post, based on the photo times because it somehow all got deleted.

1620

I put Bash down. Archer’s movie is finished, and dad has woken up, so the two of them play crazy games in the playroom. My notes for this post got deleted AGAIN, so I rewrite them AGAIN – very annoying. Then I order the groceries for our Christmas day food. 

1700

I start dinner. The boys keep playing, and Bash keeps sleeping!

1740

Dinner is ready – fish tacos! 

1810

Archer requests a bath; J does the dishes while I give him one. I can’t believe Bash is still sleeping!   

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Archer gets out of the bath, dried and dressed. He goes to Bash’s room to say goodnight; “goodnigh’ Bash. I wuv you. Ha’ sweet dweams!”; seriously. I nearly explode with the cute-ness.

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We have a story – Archer cuddles the baby from the book – too cute again. Then I say goodnight, but he doesn’t want me to leave, and I don’t want to battle, so I stay. J comes to say goodnight, and he stays for a minute too. 

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Archer won’t go to sleep, he keeps wanting to play and be silly, and as cute as that is, it’s not why I stayed. So amidst tears, I leave :( he seems close to sleep, and Bash is still sleeping, so I take the opportunity to shower.

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He walks into our room. I’m in the shower, so I’m not sure what his reason was, but J takes him back to bed.

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I get out of the shower, dressed etc. Bash is crying, so I grab him and change his nappy.

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Archer comes out again; “I have to give him [Bash] his dummy!” J takes him back to bed again. I sit down to feed Bash.

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Sebastian’s done, so I go search for J. He’s fallen asleep in Archer’s bed. I leave them and go put a face mask on, then Bash and I “play”.

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J comes out and we all play/hang out.

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J changes Bash’s nappy while I wash off my face. Then we set up the Netflix and J paints while I settle Bash.

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I can’t stay awake any longer, I try to dream  feed Bash, but he’s too asleep, so I just put him in his bed, and immediately fall asleep.

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so soon :( Bash is hungry. So I feed him and change his nappy.

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I’m just putting him in his bed when J comes in; we both go to sleep.

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More boob for Bash. Archer is in our bed, I have no idea what time he came in, but he’s laying sideways, I turn him around and we all go back to sleep

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Archer is in my face asking for the ipad, I give it to him, feed a squirmy Bash, then go back to sleep.I have no idea if J does too, or if he just stays up from here.

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Time to wake up for good. That night was a lot worse than normal; normally Bash has a feed around 10, then one at 3, and then sleeps until 6 or 7; so I’m tired, but nothing some caffeine can’t fix.

 

2 months

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Beautiful baby Bash,

You had a very busy second month! We started the month in Brisbane; where you met a lot of people, and spent a lot of time in parks; then you had injections and settled back into life at home.

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I still feel like I don’t know much about you – but you’re starting to smile and interact, which is so nice to see. You’re not boring, you’re just really laid back; you’re pretty happy to just tag along as long as your nappy is clean and your tummy is full.

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You eat really well, but we’re currently battling some pretty painful cracked nipples, which the lactation consultant will hopefully be able to help with – screaming as you latch kind of makes feeding in public a problem haha. This is a long way of saying that I’ve been pumping (to try and heal my skin – not working), and I can’t believe how much you eat! I was getting 120-200ml from just one side, and you’re downing that as well as the whole other boob which I would guess has the same amount. I guess I don’t actually know if that’s a lot? but it seems like a decent effort to me.

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All that eating is starting to put some chub on your bones – which just makes you cuter and cuter every day. Last week at your appointment you were 5kg even, which still only puts you around the 25th percentile, but is a decent gain. You don’t really fit in 0000 clothes anymore, and even some 000 are tight; and you’ve moved from newborn into infant nappies.

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You still love to be swaddled to sleep, you love your dummy, and you seem to like music/sound as well. You’ve started to notice toys, and your hands, and when you’re happy/excited you kick like a wild man, lick your lips, and make little squeeky, shrieky sounds.

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Your brother continues to love you – violently. He hits pats, smooshes cuddles, and yells talks to you. He can actually be extremely sweet and gentle, and I know he’s only rough because he gets excited – he loves you so much, lucky boy! He likes to show you to everyone we pass by running up to you and just putting a hand on you, or he says “see ‘ahbastian”.

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I feel so lucky, baby boy, that these two months have felt so long – I don’t feel like it’s flown by, which I know is odd, I feel like you’ve been here forever, and that I’ve really gotten to enjoy each day with you. This seems odd considering how busy these months have been, and how time consuming your brother is, but time with you just seems to slow down, and I love it; it helps my mama heart to not hurt so much when I see how big you’ve gotten, or when I realise we’re 1/6th of the way through your first year.

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Your joyful, bright little smiles are the sweetest promise of what’s to come, precious boy, and I cannot flipping wait to watch as your little personality emerges! I am so so so grateful, and excited to be your mum.

We love you Sebastian.

Mummy

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1 month

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Sweet Sebastian,

You are one month old! It actually, shockingly, feels like it’s gone very slowly – so much has happened (visitors, road trips, your brother’s shenanigans), how can it only be a month? I’m sure it will accelerate to lightning speed soon.

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To be honest, I still feel like I don’t really know you, and sometimes I feel like I haven’t seen you for days – I just feed you and then I’m off running after Archer again; you’re almost too easy for your own good haha. In addition to being pretty low maintenance, you’re also a bit lacking in personality yet (I’m sure you have a big one now that you’re old enough to read this), so you get a bit lost next to your crazy brother.

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Don’t take any of this to mean you aren’t very loved. This squishy newborn stage, while slightly boring compared to funny toddlers, is delightful in its own way and I am soaking up every second I can because I know it will be over in the blink of an eye.

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I love how you love to sort of nuzzle into whoever is holding you – you want to be in the smallest space, in the tightest hold possible. It figures that you love to be swaddled; the few nights I haven’t swaddled you, you wake up every hour, with a swaddle I can get 3-5 hour blocks – yippee!

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The other limited things I know about you, besides your love of cuddles and swaddles, is that you dislike a dirty nappy, but will immediately poop in a clean one – without fail. We go through a lot of nappies haha.

You are either constantly pooping or constantly eating, sometimes simultaneously. You eat almost every 20 minutes during the day, but since you sleep at night, I don’t mind. All that milk is making you grow, fast. At your appointment last week, you weighed 3.9kg (8lb 9oz), up from a birth weight of 3.09kg (6lb 13oz), so you’re about Archer’s birthweight now (3.98kg/8lb 11oz). You kind of skipped from tiny baby 00000 clothes into 0-3month 000 clothes, but I still squeeze you into your newborn 0000 stuff haha.

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You seem to like the car – thank god – and slept the entire 3 roadtrip we just took. You also like baths, being naked (but only if you aren’t cold), and being talked to.

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You are a delightful little squish Mr.Bash, and we can’t wait to see who you will turn into – the advantage of being the second child is that I know how much fun watching you grow up is, and I can’t wait! But no hurry, you go ahead and stay an easygoing, floppy little lovebug for a little while longer.

Love, Mummy.

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2 1/2

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 {09.11.15} I’m a bit late in writing this, but I was busy finishing my semester and preparing for a baby during Archer’s half birthday in September, then I thought I wouldn’t bother, but 2 1/2 needs to be documented…

At first I thought the change in Archer was due to all the life changes; moving, new baby, potty training, big boy bed, school, etc; but after hearing other people’s accounts of this age, it seems to just be bad timing.

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Darling Archer,

2 1/2 is INSANE. It’s only the second time in this whole motherhood thing where I occasionally just want to run away. We have the highest highs, and the lowest lows, and we ride this rollercoaster day and night.

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We’ll start with the difficult parts of 2 1/2 so that we can end on a positive note. You have BIG feelings but struggle to share them in ways that don’t leave me on the verge of tears. You now hit me, repeatedly, if you aren’t happy with what’s happening; this seems to quickly release your negative feelings but then turns into something fun and so you keep doing it. This is the behaviour that most makes me want to cry, because it makes me sad and I also just do not know what to do; I refuse to hit you back (hitting as punishment for hitting just does not at all make sense in any way) but that leaves me with little options…

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…which brings me to your newfound “freedom” from time out. You’ve suddenly worked out that time out actually isn’t tangible, that you are perfectly able to leave ‘timeout’, and you relish this. Timeout used to work to reset you, and it was our go-to, you would sit in it nicely until released. Well, pumpkin, you sure taught us how little we appreciated that placid surrender to time out.

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You do not listen; you LOVE pushing boundaries and seem to take everything I say as a sort of challenge. If you have something you aren’t supposed to have and I discover you, you run away and hide it under something, or you throw it and run the opposite way. You are chaotic, destructive, and just constant…

…and then suddenly you are hilarious, helpful, cuddly and timid, and I suddenly don’t want to run away so much; it’s like coming up for air.

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You sometimes just want to cuddle. You sandwich all sentences between my name; “Muh-mmmee. I want some yummy food, Muh-mmmee”. You are completely obsessed with construction vehicles and have taught me the difference between an excavator and a back-hoe. You talk non stop, and say truly hilarious things. You are still THE most amazing sleeper, and it’s surprisingly one of the only things you never really fight us on.

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You weighed 14.8kg last week, and you’re tall-ish for your age, but your bum is so tiny that you still wear some size 1 pants, even though your tops are all size 3-4. You can grow a meagre amount of hair, but you actually look better when your GIANT cranium is bald, so we buzz cut you; and your eyes continue to be these giant pools of crystal blue that blow me away everytime you look at me.

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You currently want to be a “digger guy” when you grow up, your favourite number is 46 (when asked about anything numerical (time, age, etc) thats the answer – “fawty-six”), and your favorite food is cous-cous (according to you, fruit in actuality).

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You are a nightmare, and a dream; a monster, and a prince; a demon, and an angel; a challenge, and a joy.

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We love you Archer Beck, even when we want to run away.

Love, Mummy